Forever or never
by CasualtyGem
Summary: First fic! Set 2 years after Zoe and Max's first kiss outside the pub. Are they really made for each other? Or will old habits die hard for Max and Zoe? Only time will tell.
1. Chapter 1

Zoe sat bolt upright, panting, sweating. Adjusting her eyes to the light, she blinked rapidly pushing the duvet from over her body. Looking around the room, she saw him, laying peacefully next to her, the duvet pulled up tight around his neck. Zoe inhaled sharply and watched him for a moment. He was sound asleep. Looking around for the digital clock, she sighed as she saw the time. 05:13. She climbed out of bed and made her way to the bathroom. Flicking on the light, she turned the knob for the shower and stepped in quietly.

"Zoe" he watched her, "Zo, you okay?"

She continued staring straight ahead, remembering the last time she'd had that dream. When she was pregnant, with Jordan's baby. She remembered his face when they'd found out...thought she was pregnant. He was over the moon, it was all he ever wanted, a child of his own, someone to continue his name when his time was up. She didn't exactly lie to him, she just hadn't told him the whole truth. He'd jumped to the wrong conclusion before she even had chance to explain. She had tried to tell him, but Nick being Nick, didn't listen. She'd tried telling him it was a mistake, that she couldn't keep lying but he didn't understand. He put it down to hormones, he had no idea she meant lying about the baby, so he proposed hoping it would make her feel better. It didn't though, it made matters ten times worse. Of course she was happy he'd asked for her hand in marriage, and at any other time in her life she would have said yes without a second thought. It just wasn't the right time for them, especially with the big secret she was hiding. She needed to explain. She needed him to know she loved him. She needed him to know she only lied to make him happy. She needed him to know that she had tried so hard to get pregnant; she upped the dose of her fertility drugs, stopped smoking, stopped drinking. But nothing worked for her.

She sighed as she thought of the moment she finally told him the truth "I'm not pregnant" she'd said. It took a few seconds for it to register in Nick's head. Then she saw his face. He was totally shocked, lost for words, devastated. His face dropped as he leaned back, away from her. Then he left. He couldn't even look at her. He was so disappointed. She'd hurt him more than she ever thought she could hurt a man. His eyes said it all, even though the words couldn't find their way to his lips.

Max clicked his fingers in front of her, hoping this would bring her out of her trance. It did.

She took a deep breath and turned to face him.

"You alright?"

"Fine" she lied. "I'll be out in a minute" she tried to convince him.

Max nodded unsure, but walked back to the bedroom anyway. He pulled on his trousers and went downstairs to make Zoe a cup of coffee, he was sure she needed it and it was far too early for wine, even for Zoe Hanna.

She smiled as she walked downstairs half an hour later smelling the coffee, "thanks" she nodded and took a mouthful. "You should go...we've got work soon."

Max nodded slightly. He wanted to stay but thought better than to push her buttons in a morning. He'd learned the hard way that Zoe was not a morning person. He went and got dressed then came downstairs kissing her cheek before he left "I'll see you later Dr Hanna."

She smiled to herself as she watched him leave, then she walked upstairs to her bedroom. The previous night had been brilliant. The best she'd had in a long time, they just sat watching tv, talking, laughing, drinking wine, having fun, but now she found herself staring at her reflection. She thought about the dream..did it mean anything? Surely not. 'I can't have children' she thought to herself 'it's not possible, stop being so stupid Zoe!'

As Zoe arrived at work, she was bombarded with files from Noel and a message from Louise "Dr Hanna! Max said he wanted to speak to you first thing."

"He's already here?" Zoe tried to joke. "Wow, that's a first" she walked off to her office, dumping her files on her desk and taking her coat off, throwing it on the back of her chair.

There was a knock on her door, she sighed, it was going to be a very long day.

**Thanks for taking time to read this. Sorry if it isn't very good, my first fic, please R&amp;R let me know what you think. Will update soon if feedback is good. :)**


	2. Chapter 2

It was Max holding a bouquet of flowers. All neatly arranged, thought out perfectly, even the petals matched her outfit choice. She smiled at Max and took them from him. "Thank you" she said as she smelt them "they're beautiful."

"Hope they cheer you up."

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"You seemed distracted, this morning?" Max quizzed, he was worried about her. Over the two years he'd known her, Zoe had never showed her true emotions and this morning he'd seen a different side to her, she looked scared and alone. He'd never seen this side of her and didn't know what to do.

"Max, I'm fine. Let me get on with my work" she snapped and walked back into her office. She sat down and looked at the flowers, instantly regretting her choice of words. She should talk to him but that wasn't what she did, she didn't like people fussing about her or knowing how she was feeling deep down.

Zoe walked out of her office ten minutes later as she saw Jeff and Dixie bring a patient past her office. She needed to do something other than paperwork, something exciting. She followed them into resus and treated the patient.

She went to speak to the relatives afterwards and as she came back she put her head down on the desk at the nurses station. All she wanted to do was go home, get changed and go out clubbing.

Max made sure nobody was looking as he walked up behind Zoe and started tickling her sides, she quickly stood up and turned to face him, a smile creeping onto her face "what are you doing?" she tried not to laugh as he continued.

"Seeing if you'd care to join me for a cigarette?" he smirked.

"Stop tickling me then, and maybe I will" she pushed Max's hands from her waist and followed him outside.

As they got outside Max turned to her and asked for a light...as well as a cigarette, just as he had done all those months ago when they'd first met.

"You know, I'm starting to think you're using me" Zoe said smirking as she handed him her packet.

"Using you? For fags?" Max tried to look offended and shook his head. "We will have to share this one though, it's your last one" he smirked.

"You can have it, I didn't really want one anyway."

"Oh?" Max looked at her "oh, I get it, you like my company too much" he laughed at his own joke which made Zoe laugh too.

"Not at all" she shook her head, "just needed some fresh air."

"I knew something was wrong with you."

"I'm fine Max!" she was trying to convince herself just as much as she was Max "I'm fine."

"Okay, okay" Max held his hands up "sorry boss" he winked cheekily and moved away as Zoe swung her arm to playfully hit him, she hated being called 'boss'.

As they walked inside fifteen minutes later Zoe had to quickly hold onto Max's arm.

Max looked at her suddenly, wondering why she was gripping him so tightly, nipping at his skin. "Zo?..I mean, er, Dr. Hanna? What's wrong?"

Zoe tried to shake her head but she couldn't. She was frozen to the spot, unsure whether she was dreaming or not. She looked around the busy ED and there he was, again. That suit. That authoritative walk. She was sure she'd seen it before. It can't be..can it? No. She'd have been told if he was coming back, surely. Of course she would, it was her ED now. Zoes eyes followed the man in the suit waiting to see who he was.

"Dr. Hanna?" Max repeated, becoming more concerned by the second.

The man turned round to face her, and that was all she remembered until she woke up in cubicle 2.

**Thank you so much for all the lovely reviews for my first chapter :) They were all amazing to read. Glad you're enjoying it so far, love you all! R&amp;R**

**Gemma x**


	3. Chapter 3

"Who is he then?" Adam joked as Zoe came round.

"What?" she looked at him, confused by what he'd just said, as well as confused as to why she was laying there.

Adam smiled, "last time this happened, it was Jordan's baby.."

"That's not funny Adam" she closed her eyes and put a hand on her stomach "I can't be."

"Don't worry Zo, you're not pregnant" said Adam with a slight chuckle.

Zoe let out a sigh of relief, "so I can go home then, yeah?"

Adam shook his head "I don't think so, you know the rules."

"Fine, but don't let anyone see me here."

"Too late I'm afraid."

Zoe sighed "great".

Adam tried not to laugh, he knew how much she hated public humiliation, even though she'd caused everyone to find out all on her own.

Minutes after he'd seen Adam leave the cubicle, Max walked in. She smiled weakly at him.

"You have a child?" he whispered.

Zoe almost choked on her water. "What?!" she spluttered.

"I heard Adam...the last time, you were pregnant?"

She shook her head and closed her eyes.

"Why can't you tell me the truth?" Max sighed "am I not good enough?"

Zoe sighed "there's nothing to tell Max. I don't have a child...I was never pregnant."

"You're lying. Adam said-"

He was cut off quickly by Zoe speaking, "I'm not lying. I can't..." she sighed, "Max just trust me, please?"

"How can I trust you when you don't trust me! You won't even tell me about your child! What kind of mother doesn't talk about their own child?! Why won't you tell me?!"

"Because there isn't a child to tell you about!" She yelled.

He shook is head "this isn't just a bit of fun when no ones looking for me, you know I like you Zoe! In fact, I more than like you. This isn't a silly crush, not anymore" he paused, waiting for a response. Nothing. "You don't care, do you?! They were right."

Zoe took a deep breath, "who? Who have you spoken to about me?!"

He sighed, "they were right. Zoe Hanna will never, ever, go near a porter. Not in that way. That's what they said to me. And you know what, I'm starting to believe them!"

Zoe was startled. No one had ever spoken to her like this before. Especially not a porter...but he wasn't just a porter, not to Zoe. She really did like him. She'd developed feelings for him. Like the feelings she had for Nick Jordan. Why wouldn't he just listen?

"Who?" she stared at him. "Who have you been talking to?!"

"What does it matter who Zoe?" he shouted.

"Look, Max, even if I did want children...not just with you, with anyone. I can't."

He sighed "what the hell does that mean Zoe?"

"What do you think it means Max?"

Max looked at her, "you tell me. I'm obviously not clever enough to work it out on my own, I'm only a porter after all" he stood up. "That's it!"

"What?"

"You are embarrassed! You don't want people to know! The famous Zoe Hanna, clinical lead, can't be seen dead dating a porter!"

She shook her head "that's not true Max, you know it isn't"

He snorted. "it is. They were right, you're just a self-centered, heartless cow who doesn't care about anyone's feelings except maybe your own, but I don't think you even care about those anymore."

Zoe opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. She stood up picking her bag up from the side as she did and started to walk out of the cubicle. Max grabbed her wrist gently and pulled her back.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean that, it just ca-"

He stopped speaking as Zoe's hand found its way to his cheek, leaving a white mark as it dropped back down to her side. "Yes, ok, I've had my fair share on men but I'm sure you've had half the country, never mind half of this hospital! You're no better than me, in fact, you're worse than me. at least I don't pretend to be someone I'm not just to get a man into bed, Dr Caleb Knight" she smirked.

He shook his head, "no, you just sleep with anything with a pulse, you could have all sorts of diseases by now."

"Never stopped you though, did it?" she raised her eyebrow towards him "but don't worry, I won't be coming near you again. You don't know what you might catch." she turned to him before walking out "You weren't that good anyway." She pulled the curtain back and was greeted by five faces; Louise, Robyn, Tess, Charlie and Adam. Great! Two of the biggest gossipers in the ED.

"Enjoying yourselves?" she asked sarcastically, staring at the five faces before looking directly at Adam, "guess you found out who 'he' is." She barged past them and out of the department, around to her usual smoking spot. She pulled out her packet of cigarettes, only then remembering that Max had the last one earlier. She sighed loudly and threw it on the floor, she turned to face the wall and leaned her head against it. She hit her palms against the wall either side of her head; she'd kick it if her shoes weren't so expensive.

**Thanks so much for the amazing reviews! Please keep them coming, they make me smile so much :) **

**Gemma x**


	4. Chapter 4

She looked around and saw a woman smoking, she walked over and asked for a cigarette. Thanking her, Zoe walked back to 'her' spot and put her head back as she exhaled her first drag. She closed her eyes, enjoying the cigarette as much as possible before she would have to go back inside to get her coat and see the expressions mapped on everyone's faces, she was sure everyone would have heard about her and Max's little...big tiff.

The words he said repeated themselves over and over in her head. She tried to ignore them but she wondered if that was what people really thought about her. Usually she wouldn't care. But the way Max worded it, it wasn't nice. In one breath he was expressing his love for her, the next he'd pretty much called her a slapper.

She was brought out of her trance when she heard footsteps coming towards her. She sighed.

"They're bad for you, you know" a familiar voice spoke from behind her.

Zoe spun around to see none other than Nick Jordan standing there. She just stared at him.

"Still haven't stopped then?" he laughed, she was never going to give up smoking. Smoking, wine, or her incredibly high heels.

Zoe stared at Nick for a few seconds before he noticed she had been crying. "Hey, what's wrong?" he spoke softly.

"Oh not much really, just my boyfriend pretty much calling me a slapper in front of the whole department" she wiped her eyes quickly, not wanting Nick to see her vulnerable side.

Nick put his arms round Zoe and held her close, comforting her. Much like he had when her fifteen year old lover had stolen her pendrive and attempted to blackmail her. "Who's your boyfriend then?" he asked, unsure whether he really wanted to know the answer or not.

"I don't want to talk about it" she looked genuinely hurt.

"It's not Charlie, is it?" Nick joked, nudging her when he got no response "oh my god, it's Charlie!"

Zoe laughed slightly, hitting his arm playfully. "No, it isn't Charlie, and no, you aren't finding out. So, if you really want to know, I suggest you get me very, very drunk first."

"You've not changed, have you Zo" he stepped back, holding his hand out to her "come on, I'll drive you home, I'm sure you've some wine in the fridge, and I can't expect you to drink it all by yourself, can I?"

She looked at him before she spoke, "Nick.."

"Yes?" came his short response.

"Why are you here?" she asked, no more than a whisper.

**Sorry it's a cliff hanger again, I'm not entirely sure why he's back myself yet, I'll figure it out though, I'm sure. Please continue to R&amp;R, loving all the comments so far, thank you so much! :) **

**Gemma x**


	5. Chapter 5

"Not now Zo."

"Why not now? Why?!"

"Zoe please, not here.."

She stood up and strutted past him to her car. She got in the driver's side and started the ignition. She stared straight at Nick as she sped past him, unable to deal with his crap excuses right now. Zoe drove all the way to the nearest bar, switched her phone off as she got there and left it in the glove compartment of her car.

As she walked to the bar, ordering three shots all for herself, she looked around making sure no one she knew was there that night. They weren't, thankfully. After downing them she ordered her usual, vodka tonic, and looked around the room once again as she paid.

A few drinks later, she decided it was about time she let her hair down properly, she got up off her seat and walked to the middle of the room, towards a young man she was sure would throw himself at her.

"Hi, Zoe Hanna. And you are?.." she pouted, stroking his arm seductively, "oh, muscular. You work out?"

"It's James" he smiled back at her.

Zoe turned around as she was tapped on the shoulder. Nick, great. "What do you want?!"

"To take you home" he looked down at her and held his arm out for her.

She laughed in his face, "uh, no."

"Let me look after you Zo" he pleaded.

"I don't need looking after" she slurred, "and even if I did, I'm sure John can manage" she ran a finger down the young man's chest and looked at him, "can't you?"

"Actually, it's James."

"What?" she was clearly confused "what's James?"

He spoke slowly and clearly, "my name, is James."

Zoe laughed, "right, whatever, I don't need you anyway, Jordan" she pushed her finger against Nick's chest, "so you can fuck off, back to America, back to your perfect little family."

James made his excuses and left them alone. As he wandered off, awkwardly, Zoe's eyes followed him. He reminded her of Max, a lot. She sighed as she thought of him. Nick caught on that she wasn't enjoying herself.

"Come on, lets get you home" he said, mater of factly, taking hold of her hand.

"I do know the way, you know" she said, smiling sarcastically as she walked off in front of him.

"Where are you going?" Nick sighed, watching her walk away from the exit.

"The toilet. That is allowed isn't it. I don't have to ask for your permission." she stated "I'm a grown woman Nick!"

"Alright, alright, hurry up though."

Fifteen minutes passed and she still hadn't returned.

**Hope this is okay, sorry it's quite short, next chapter hopefully makes up for it. **

**To the guest who asked if this is a Zick or Zax fanfic, I'm not entirely sure yet. We'll just have to see where it ends up. **

**R&amp;R I love you all!**

**Gemma x**


	6. Chapter 6

Meanwhile inside the toilets, Zoe was in the middle of a slanging match with a woman whose name she couldn't, for the life of her, remember.

A few slaps and aggressive comments later, Zoe emerged from the toilets and walked straight past Nick, out to her car. As she struggled to get the key in the ignition, Nick stopped her and took the keys off of her.

"What on earth are you doing?!" he shouted at her.

"Going home..I thought that's what you wanted?" she sarcastically replied.

"Not in your car you're not." He almost dragged her out of the car, locking it. He walked her round to his car and sat her in the passenger side. As he got in, he looked at her and laughed "I haven't missed this side of you."

"Oh, shut up and take me home" she snapped.

Half an hour later, they got to Zoe's house and Nick followed her in, ignoring her threats of throwing him out the window if he dared to step inside. He locked the door as they got in and went straight to the kitchen making her a very strong coffee. Zoe, however, had other ideas, she raided her cupboards and pulled out a bottle of wine. Drinking straight from the bottle, she stomped off to the living room and threw herself onto the sofa.

Nick finally prized the bottle from Zoe's hands and handed her her coffee. She reluctantly drank it.

After a few awkward minutes of silence she finally gave in and chuckled to herself, "it's a long time since I've been called a slapper twice in one day."

"Want to talk about it?" Nick asked cautiously.

She rolled her eyes, "like you care. Why are you even here?"

He sighed, "Zoe, I..I realised something."

"Don't you dare say it. Don't!" she took a deep breath and stared at him. "You better not say it."

He leaned forward and kissed her quickly, but passionately. He quickly moved his head back and looked into her eyes. He'd missed this woman so much. He'd got married in America, he loved the person he married, Lesley, but she wasn't Zoe. No one would ever match up to Zoe Hanna. The woman who stole his heart, and ripped it to shreds when she lied to him about the baby. He didn't care about that though.

Not seeing her face for the past three years had almost killed him. He hated being without her. He'd look on her facebook page at least ten times a week, hoping she was happy but secretly wishing she was alone and missing him, just as much as he was her. One day...three days ago, to be precise, he'd had enough. Constant arguing with his wife. He couldn't deal with it anymore. He walked out, boarded a plane and booked himself into a local hotel, just round the corner from the ED. He stayed in that room for three long days, worried about seeing Zoe again. He knew she was what he wanted, what he needed. But he was scared she'd moved on, found someone else; younger, cleverer, sexier.

As he looked at the woman he loved, his heart sank. She hadn't kissed him back and as she looked right now, she wasn't happy that he'd kissed her. She sat, playing with the mug in her hand. Eventually, she sat forward and placed it on the coffee table in front of them.

Nick sighed and stood up, "I'm sorry, I should get going. I'm sorry."

Zoe smiled and stood up, "you locked the door, yeah?"

"Yes...why?" he asked suspiciously.

She moved her eyes towards the stairs, before looking into Nicks and placing a gentle kiss on his lips. He responded to the kiss. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he smiled at her. "I love you Zoe Hanna. With all of my heart, I love you."

"Oh, shut up, you soppy man" she took hold of his hand and lead him upstairs to her bedroom, unbuttoning his shirt on the way.

**R&amp;R please guys :) Sorry about the beginning of this chapter being rushed :L**

**Gemma x**


	7. Chapter 7

Zoe woke with an awful pounding sensation in her head, her head that lay quite comfortably on Nick's bare chest. She raised her hand to her forehead and groaned as the memories of yesterday came flooding back to her.

Nick couldn't help but laugh "just like the olden days, eh?" he joked.

"Ugh, keep it down" she whispered, moving her fingers in circular motions on the side of her head.

He kissed the top of her head gently, "let me up and I'll go get you some coffee and painkillers."

"No," she groaned, "stay..I can't move."

Nick rubbed his hand up and down Zoe's back, comforting her. Comforting, until she needed to throw up. She scrambled out of the bed quickly and dived onto the floor of the en suite, holding the basin of the toilet for dear life.

Chuckling to himself, Nick climbed out of bed and pulled his boxers on. He unhooked Zoe's dressing gown from the back of the door and placed it over her arms gently, tying it at the front. As he did this, he held her hair back from her face and found a bobble of the side, and tied it around her hair loosely.

"I'll go get you some water," he spoke softly and left the room.

Nick made his way downstairs to the kitchen and filled a glass with water. He rummaged through the cupboards until he found the medicine drawer. He pulled out the packet of painkillers and walked back to Zoe with the water.

As he walked towards the stairs, a photo caught his eye. It was Zoe and..he wasn't sure who. He'd never seen this man before. He picked it up and stared at it. Maybe this was him, Zoe's boyfriend. His worst fears came true, he was younger than Nick, maybe even smarter, higher up the chain than himself, he didn't know. He looked at the other photo's surrounding this one, more of this man and Zoe. Had she really moved on? Maybe last night was a mistake for her, she was drunk but she certainly knew what she was doing. If this man was who she wanted, Nick didn't want to be the one to stop her being happy.

He thought back to their past, the good times as well as the bad. Maybe it was just that, the past. Maybe this really was the end of Zoe and Nick. He had to talk to her, and soon, before it was too late.

He placed the photo back in its original spot and picked the water up again. He walked into Zoe's room and knelt down beside the bed. Popping two tablets out of the packet he handed them to her, "there you go" he smiled softly at her and stroked her hair. "How you feeling?"

"Great, Nick. I'm feeling fantastic" she sarcastically replied, taking the tablets.

**I'm sorry this chapter is so short, and sorry I didn't post yesterday, was at a concert :D**

**Hope you like it anyway, will try and post chapter 8 later tonight to make up for the shortness of it. Please continue to R&amp;R, love reading them :)**

**Gemma x**


	8. Chapter 8

Zoe arrived at work almost an hour late, looking and feeling terrible. She walked straight past reception, feeling everyone's eyes blazing into her back. She heard them whispering behind her, crude comments about herself and Max.

She saw him, Max, waiting outside her office 'great' she thought to herself. He watched her walk into her office and sit down. He turned away from her as she looked at him and walked off to cubicles, hoping to find something to keep himself busy.

Zoe sighed to herself and took some more paracetamol. She checked her phone and saw a picture of her and Max on the background. She hovered over his number, thinking about texting him to come and see her but decided against it and got on with some admin. A few hours later she went outside for a much needed cigarette, secretly hoping Max would be there so she could talk to him properly, explain everything to him.

Sadly, Max wasn't there when Zoe got outside. She lit her cigarette and put her head back. As she was walking inside, she saw him walking towards the exit. As much as she wanted to talk to him, she didn't know what to say or where to start, she walked inside, past Max.

As she walked past him, Max turned his head slightly and watched her walk, obviously checking out her backside. He walked outside and stood where she stood smoking. Half of him wished he'd come out two minutes earlier to talk to her and apologize properly. He didn't mean what he said, he loved Zoe but didn't think she'd believe him after yesterday.

Zoe arrived home that night and ordered a takeaway almost as soon as she walked through the door. She got changed into her tracksuit bottoms and a hoody and lay on the sofa waiting for her Chinese to arrive.

The doorbell rang about half an hour later and she made her way to the door. Opening the door, she groaned and put her head against it, "you aren't the Chinese man."

"I'm not, but I brought wine, and chocolate" Nick smiled at Zoe and held a bag up.

She looked at him for a few seconds before speaking, "Nick, I'm not really in the mood tonight. I'm just gonna eat and have an early night.."

"Okay, but take these" he handed the bag to her.

Zoe shook her head. "No. Thanks but, I can't, because then I'll be in debt to you and I can't put myself in that situation right now Nick. I need to sort myself out. Sorry" she held the bag out to Nick and looked at him.

He nodded and took the bag, "I hope you're happy with him" Nick leaned forward and placed a kiss on Zoe's cheek.

"Nick, it's not.."

"I'm happy that you're happy."

Before she had chance to say anything, he was gone. She watched him get back in his car and she watched him bang his hand on his steering wheel. She closed her door slowly and put her head back against the door, closing her eyes. There he was again, assuming things. So maybe this time he was right, he still didn't give her chance to explain though. Why won't the men in her life listen to her?

After she'd eaten her Chinese and drank half a bottle of wine, she turned on her laptop and began to type. She typed a letter to a certain porter. She needed him to know what she'd been through and that she cared about him, really really cared.

**Sorry this chapter is rushed :L hope you like it anyway. R&amp;R :)**

**Gemma x**


	9. Chapter 9

Zoe arrived at work half an hour early, knowing full well that Max wouldn't be in at that time. She walked straight to his store room and walked in placing the letter, now in an envelope, on the table in the middle of the room. She hurried out and stood outside for a few minutes, half of her wishing she hadn't even written the letter, never mind put it where she had, the other half of her glad she had finally told somebody .

She made her way back to her office and sat down logging onto her computer. She sighed as what felt like hundreds of unread emails popped up in the corner. She logged off her computer, and took a walk around the ED making sure everything was running smoothly.

Forty minutes later, Max arrived at the ED. He went to his store room and got changed into his work clothes. His shift started ten minutes ago but he decided a break was needed already so he sat back in the chair and put his feet up on the table, knocking the letter off in the process. He leaned over the arm of the chair and picked it up. His name was scribbled on the envelope with a tiny kiss underneath it. He recognised the handwriting immediately, Zoe. Hesitating slightly, he opened it..

_'Max.._

_I know you hate me right now for lying, but I wasn't lying. I really don't have a child, and I probably never will, that's not me trying to get you to feel sorry for me, that's me telling you I can't have children._

_Yes, I did pass out once before, a few years ago, and yes, people did think I was pregnant, and I was trying for a baby, really trying. I was injecting myself with drugs to help me get pregnant. These gave me pregnancy like symptoms; morning sickness, cravings, they probably even caused me to pass out. Nick just assumed I was pregnant, and so did everyone else after my collapse. I didn't have the heart to correct him, I thought I'd have plenty of time to actually get pregnant before he needed to know I wasn't. He was ill, and all he wanted was a child. I couldn't let him down, I loved him so much and I wanted to make him happy._

_He kept booking me in for scans and I kept finding excuses to get out of going to them, but then I really thought I was pregnant, so I went along to the scan. But there was nothing there. I really had to tell him the truth, so I did. I told him I wasn't pregnant and he went off on one, he left me. He wouldn't listen, couldn't even look at me._

_I don't know why I'm writing all this but I just feel like I won't tell you otherwise. I thought it was right I told you, I just didn't know how to say it._

_I don't want to scare you by telling you all of this. This feels like we have to be serious in our relationship now I've told you. That isn't the case...unless you want it to be?_

_I understand that you're probably still angry at me right now, and I don't blame you, I'd be angry at me too. Please, just try and understand._

_Zoe x'_

Max read the letter over and over, before he folded it up and stuffed it into his back pocket. He all but ran to Zoe's office, not even knocking before barging in, "Zoe!" he closed the door and leaned against it, "Zoe, I'm sorry."

She turned her computer screen off and looked up at him "hi.."

"You didn't have to say all that, you know. You could have talked to me" Max stood in front of her desk leaning on it "if you'd have told me-"

"What? You wouldn't have said what you did?" she shook her head and got on with her work.

"I'm sorry" he almost whispered, scared she wouldn't forgive him. "I didn't mean it, I was just angry you didn't talk to me..." he sighed as Zoe kept looking at the screen, typing away. "I'll be going then.." he headed towards the door slowly.

As his hand touched the handle, Zoe spoke, "wait a minute" she watched as he turned to face her slowly. "You're taking me out tonight, as way of an apology" she cheekily winked at him while resting her head on her hand.

Max smirked and walked over to her desk, leaning over and kissing her softly. "I'll pick you up at seven, yeah?"

She nodded in return and watched him leave her office. They both got back to work, happy. Much to the relief of the rest of the ED.

**Hope this is okay for you all :) please continue to R&amp;R love reading them all. Love you all **

**Gemma x**


	10. Chapter 10

It was six pm and Zoe still wasn't ready for Max picking her up at seven. She'd been through her wardrobe three times and couldn't find anything to wear. She felt like a school girl again, going on a first date, trying to impress without giving too much away, not that there was anything new to give. Eventually, she decided on a fitted blue dress, showing off her curves in all the right places. She paired this with her black patent, open toed heels. Right then, there was a knock on the door, Zoe opened her bedroom window and looked down at Max, "give me two minutes."

Max smirked and shook his head, "two minutes, the meters running" he gestured towards the taxi on the road.

She shut her window, applied her lipstick and brushed through her hair one more time. She checked her outfit in the mirror, put her jacket on, threw her phone into her bag and walked downstairs. She opened the door and laughed as Max's jaw dropped open. "Wow!" he gasped, "you look gorgeous." Zoe smiled in return and locked her door.

"So, where are we going?" Zoe smiled, getting into the taxi and kissing Max's cheek.

"It's a surprise" he smirked, placing a hand on Zoe's thigh.

Zoe smiled and shook her head. She watched him, hoping he'd change his mind and tell her, but she knew deep down that he wouldn't. They finally pulled up outside a restaurant in the middle of town. Max got out and walked round opening Zoe's door for her. They walked inside, hand in hand, and got shown to their table. They ordered their drinks and as they got brought over Max pulled out a small box from his pocket, placing it on the table in front of Zoe. She raised her eyebrow at him, he just laughed. "It's not what you think."

She nodded and opened the box slowly, smiling to herself. She stared at the pair of diamond earrings before her. They must have cost him a fortune! She knew he wasn't the richest boyfriend...fling..whatever, she'd ever had, but he was quite possibly the kindest. She grinned, looking up at Max "thank you." She took her earrings out, replacing them with the new dazzlers.

Max just smiled, he was happy she liked them. He hadn't known what to buy her and didn't want to go too far and buy something he couldn't top next time.

They both ordered their food and sat chatting away as they waited for it to arrive, the topic changed to their pasts, and Zoe asked Max about his, considering she'd told him pretty much everything in her letter. Everything important anyway. She didn't find much out, except that he'd had more one night stands than hot dinners. She laughed at this as he reminded her of herself, back in the day, a different man every night. She didn't dare tell him this, although he probably knew already from all of the gossipers in the ED.

Max saw her blush slightly and smirked, "remind you of someone?" he asked.

"Nope" came her simple reply.

"Not even yourself when you were younger" he teased, pushing her for an answer.

"No Max" she looked at him, a look that told him he definitely needed to stop digging.

He just laughed, "alright, alright, keep your knickers on!"

She smirked and leant over to him, talking quietly, "I left them at home."

His eyes widened and he went to speak but all he could manage was a mere "oh" with a grin placed firmly on his lips.

Max's arm wrapped itself around Zoe's waist, protecting her from the cold as they walked outside, awaiting their cab. "Good night?" Max kissed her cheek.

"The best" Zoe nodded smiling.

"Maybe we can carry it on at yours?" he winked mischievously.

"Maybe we can, Mr Walker" she smirked as she kissed him.

He pushed her against the wall, continuing the kiss, turning it into one of passion. He loved it when Zoe called him 'Mr Walker', and Zoe played on this, a lot. She pulled away smirking as a taxi sounded its horn right in front of them. They both laughed and jumped in, feeling like school children getting into trouble.

As Max followed Zoe into her house, he let her lock the door and took the opportunity to admire her body; he couldn't believe a woman like Zoe Hanna would want to be with him. He wrapped his arms around her waist from behind and started kissing her neck, biting gently on her skin. She closed her eyes, tilting her head to the side as she turned slightly to face him. She looked up into his eyes and opened her mouth to speak but was stopped as Max's lips collided with her own.

She didn't hesitate in returning his kiss, or wrapping her legs around his waist as he lifted her up holding his hands, conveniently on her bum. She didn't mind one bit.

Max carried her through to the living room laying her down on the sofa, still kissing her. He smiled as her hands found their way to his shirt, unbuttoning it and pushing it down off of his arms. She tilted her head once again as Max kissed her neck and she let out a small moan, allowing her back to arch as he unzipped her dress. He pulled it down her body slowly, placing kisses down her chest and stomach. "You really did leave your knickers" he whispered, smirking as he looked up at her. She just nodded and smiled to herself as he ran his fingers up her legs and over her stomach, round to her back allowing himself to unhook her bra. As he did this, Zoe's hands found their way to his trousers, fumbling with the button, she finally unzipped them and Max helped her to push them down along with his boxers.

**I thought they needed some happy time :) and thought you guys would like it too :) hope you do! Please R&amp;R let me know what you think**

**Gemma x**


	11. Chapter 11

Zoe woke up extremely late in an empty bed. Great, he's awake and didn't wake her. She jumped out of bed, had the quickest shower ever and got ready for work. As she was buttoning her blouse up, Max walked in, carrying breakfast.

"Thanks for waking me" she scowled at Max. "We're going to be late!"

"Relax" he replied, calmly "I thought you were the boss."

"What gave you that idea?" she raised her eyebrows and sighed as her phone rang, Connie.

Max picked her phone up, before she had chance to. "Hi...no, it's Max...no, she's not available right now...shower...yep...no...bye Connie."

Zoe stood, shaking her head at Max "you can't jus-"

"It worked didn't it?" he smirked, wrapping his arms around her waist.

Zoe couldn't help but laugh and respond to his actions by wrapping her arms around his neck as she kissed him, "thank you."

"Now, how about you thank me properly..." Max raised a teasing eyebrow as he moved his hands down onto Zoe's bum.

She tried to pull away from him "Max..we've got work.." she closed her eyes as he kissed her neck slowly. "Max.." before she knew it, she'd taken Max's t-shirt off and thrown it to the floor.

* * *

An hour later, they arrived at the ED. Zoe sighed as Connie approached her, "don't even start..the car broke down" she lied, looking around trying to change the subject quickly. "Everything seems fine here. I'll be in my office if anyone needs me." She began walking away.

"You mean my office."

Zoe turned round like a shot, "what?!"

Connie smiled "shall we take this into the office."

"No!" Zoe snapped, "what the hell do you mean, your office?!"

"Well, you failed to show up to the meeting with Mr Self" Connie said almost smirking. "Too busy with lover boy..? Mr Self wasn't happy, obviously, and thought you were too unreliable to run the ED."

"Bitch!" Zoe spat, staring at Connie before stomping off.

"Where are you going? You should have started over an hour ago!"

Zoe just held up her packet of cigarettes, her fingers arranged perfectly so her index and middle fingers were facing Connie. She stormed outside and round the corner, immediately lighting her cigarette.

Max walked out shortly after and pulled Zoe into a tight embrace but she just pushed him away and walked off. "Zo.."

She turned back to him, "No Max. A hug won't make all this better! Nick trusted me with this place and I've lost it. He warned me she was only here for my job but did I listen? No! Now look."

"Don't blame it all on me.." he pleaded, holding his hand out to her.

She just shook her head and turned to Jeff as he brought a patient out of his ambulance, "what've we got?"

As Jeff told Zoe who the girl was, the girl saw Max and started to cry, "daddy!" She held her arms out to him and Zoe turned around giving Max a deathly stare.

She tutted and walked inside with Jeff and the girl, "Lily, can you sort this girl out please?" She didn't give her chance to reply and stormed off to what used to be her office.

The first thing she noticed was the name on the door, it wasn't hers. She felt the blood rush round her body like a volcano about to explode. She opened the door, almost knocking it off of its hinges, now noticing her things had already been put into boxes, "you didn't waste any time" she glared at Connie as she lifted the boxes up, walking out, slamming the door shut behind her.

She hadn't looked where she was going and walked straight into a patient, the bottom of her box opening and the contents falling out all over the floor. As she crouched down to pick her things up, a photo caught her eye; her, Nick and Sharice. Tears filled her eyes, threatening to fall. She looked so happy, she had everything she needed, all three of them did. She took in a deep breath and swallowed hard attempting to remove the lump that had formed in her throat.

Zoe stuffed things in her pockets and under her arms, trying to carry everything out to her car at once. As she stood up she saw Max in front of her. "Need help?" he reached to try and take hold of some files for her.

"I don't need anything from you" she pushed past him and made her way to her car, throwing the contents of her box into the boot and getting in the drivers side. She reversed out of her parking space and sped off the hospital premises. She drove, and she drove, until she reached the beach. The place she always went when she needed to cool off. She took out her phone and texted Nick _'I'm sorry. Z'._ She switched her phone off and got out the car. Leaning against it, she began to cry; hot tears racing down her cheeks.

**Love reading the reviews. Please keep leaving them, I love you all and hope this chapter is okay for you all :) R&amp;R**

**Gemma x**


	12. Chapter 12

It was a boring shift and Noel had decided to take a walk around the hospital, leaving Louise to manage reception. He was stood outside a cubicle when he heard someone speak. "It's alright Megan, daddy's here." Noel was sure it was Max's voice, and was shocked to see him sat there cuddling the girl as Lily walked out leaving the curtain open. "I never knew Max had a daughter" Noel said to Lily, loud enough for Max to here.

"I never knew you cared so much" Lily said flatly as she stood filling in Megan's notes.

He stepped back and stood by the curtain, "does Zoe know about her?"

"Daddy...who's Zoe?" the young girl cried.

"Zoe is daddy's gir-"

"She's nobody" Max quickly responded throwing Noel a 'go away' look.

Noel made his way back to reception, telling everyone he passed about Max's secret child, and of how he didn't tell her about Zoe so they have probably split up. Not that anyone was surprised, Zoe Hanna and a porter, really?!

* * *

Half an hour later, Nick arrived at the ED to see Zoe. After being told she had walked out over three hours ago and still hadn't returned, he started to worry, especially after the text she'd sent him. What did she have to be sorry for? What had she done?

He walked out and climbed into his car, driving straight to the beach, knowing she would be there. He saw her car and parked up next to it, getting out of his own and walking round to hers. As he peered inside he noticed empty bottles of vodka, her shoes and some underwear on the backseat 'typical Zoe' he thought. Stepping back from her car he looked around, hoping she'd be stood somewhere thinking. Hoping he didn't have to look around in all the pubs along the seafront.

He let out a long sigh and decided to walk out further in order to try and see her. He walked further and further from his car, looking around as he did. Nick got right out to the sea, not seeing Zoe anywhere. He'd lost count of how many times he'd called her but he knew her phone was switched off.

Worrying even more, he left the beach and started looking around all the pubs and clubs. Two hours later, he returned to his car, still no sign of Zoe. He leant back against his car and closed his eyes, rubbing his hand over his face.

Nick was sure he heard a muffled cry and he quickly turned around seeing nothing but a family running around screaming. Sighing to himself once again, he decided to look around the beach one more time. As he started to walk away he heard the faint cry again, this time followed by a bang.

Turning back, all he could see was his and Zoe's cars. "Hello?" he spoke into the air, getting strange looks from passers by. He frowned at them and repeated himself. There it was again, the banging. Cautiously walking towards the cars, a wave of nausea hit him; Zoe. "Shit! Zoe!" Rushing to the boot of her car, calling her name and pausing to hear a response; nothing, only banging. "It's going to be okay! I promise!" he shouted through the boot, looking around. He saw a brick on the floor and ran over to get it. Running back, he threw it through the window of the boot and fumbled around inside to open it.

As the boot opened, Nick was shocked by what he saw; Zoe lay there completely naked, her hands tied behind her back and tape over her mouth. It was obvious she'd been crying, she had tear stains all down her cheeks and her make up was smeared all over her face. It was then that Nick noticed the blood; all over her body, he didn't know where it was coming from and he quickly pulled the tape from her mouth, apologizing as he did so. "Where are you hurt?" he spoke softly and clearly as he rushed to his car pulling out a blanket and throwing it over her body. He leant over her, untying her hands as fast as he possible. As soon as he had untied them, Zoe threw her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly, crying hard into his chest. Nick put his arms around her carefully and felt her wince as he touched her back. He looked over and saw the open wound, bleeding heavily.

Lifting her up gently, he placed her in his car and put the seatbelt around her, covering her once again with the blanket, "it's going to be alright Zo" kissing her head softly, he closed her door and got in his side. He sped off from the beach, trying to keep Zoe awake by talking to her. He drove straight to the ED, pulling up as close to the entrance as possible and climbing out quickly. He lifted Zoe out of the car, making sure she was covered up and ran inside with her, bumping into Max as he did.

"What's happened?!" he yelled, causing everyone to turn and stare, talking in hushed tones about their boss laying there helpless in just a blanket.

Nick ignored them, carrying her through to resus shouting as he did "I need some help in here! She's bleeding out! Drifting in and out of consciousness!"

**I do love cliff hangers :P hope you enjoy this chapter. Continue to R&amp;R please guys :) love your comments about this story so far, keep them coming :) xx**


	13. Chapter 13

Six hours after Nick found her, Zoe was lay on a bed in intensive care, a machine breathing for her. Max sat on the chair beside her, holding her hand tight, willing her to wake up. He ran a hand through her hair and kissed her forehead gently, whispering in her ear "please wake up..please. Zo, I need to explain.."

Nick stood outside her room watching Max. He knew Max really did care about Zoe; he'd seen the pictures in Zoe's house, the way he reacted when he saw Nick bring her in earlier, how he was acting with her now. He knew that Max loved Zoe just as much as he did, and despite the way she'd spoken about him, Nick knew she loved Max too.

Nick opened the door slowly and cleared his throat, making his presence known to Max. He walked over checking Zoe's monitors, "how you doing?" he looked at Max and instantly saw the tears threatening to fall. "She'll be alright, she's a fighter our Zoe" he didn't sound too convincing, checking the monitors one more time. "She's always alright in the end" he nodded.

"I need her alright now, I need her awake! She doesn't understand" Max squeezed Zoe's hand tight in his, tears now flowing freely down his cheeks. "I love her, she needs to know I love her."

Nick closed his eyes hearing his words. He couldn't bare it but he knew he needed to be here for the young man sat before him, just in case anything happened to their beloved Zoe. He couldn't let that happen though. Nick would do anything in his power to keep Zoe alive and make her better. Sighing, he put his hand on Max's shoulder, "come on, lets go get you a cup of tea or something. She might even be awake when we get back."

"No" Max choked, "I need to be here for when she wakes up." He looked up at Nick, begging him to leave. Nick nodded and slowly walked over to Zoe, placing a gentle kiss on her cheek before quietly walking out the door and watching from the window as Max held her hand by his cheek wiping his eyes over and over.

Nick made his way down to the ED, to their friends and colleagues waiting patiently in the staffroom for any news. Hopefully, the news that she'd woken up and she'd be fine. Nick walked into the staffroom and everyone instantly stopped what they were doing and stared at him waiting for him to speak. "No change" was all he said before walking out quickly.

Charlie and Tess followed Nick, "that's it? No change. Nothing at all?" Charlie questioned.

"I don't want to jinx anything. You know what it's like, she's not breathing for herself Charlie" he looked at both of his colleagues before walking into their office with them, away from unwanted listeners. Closing the door he spoke quietly, "I don't know if she'll make it. There's no sign of her waking up anytime soon. That poor lad up there won't leave her side until she does. Someone should be there with him, he's falling apart."

Tess walked over and pulled Nick into a much needed hug. He closed his eyes wrapping his arms round her, memories of him and Zoe flooding back to him. She spoke quietly, "whatever happens, we're a team here, we'll get through this, all of us...together.."

* * *

Nick sat in the staffroom waiting for that phonecall from ICU telling him that Zoe would be okay. He couldn't cope anymore, being kept in the dark. Whenever he closed his eyes, an image of her would spring into his mind; Zoe laying there in her car boot, helpless, suffering. She had a deep stab wound in the back of her thigh and a gunshot wound on her back, the bullet only just missing vital organs. The amount of blood in her car was unbelievable. He remembered when he hugged her, she'd winced, her whole body flinched. The pain in her eyes as he opened the boot, and the joy of seeing a familiar face mixed was not pleasant. He couldn't bare to think of what, how or why it had happened to her, but it had and now they all had to try and get on with their jobs like normal.

Nick was brought out of his daze, thankfully, by his phone ringing. Answering it, he stood up pacing the room, rubbing his finger along his chin and collapsing back into the sofa after hanging up. A crowd had formed outside the window, Nick hadn't noticed and sat with his head in his hands.

Tess, Zoe's closest friend in the department walked in slowly, closing the door behind her and sitting beside Nick. "Was that them?...ICU?"

"Yeah..."

"And..?"

* * *

Zoe had started to wake up and choke on the tube in her mouth, Max instantly stood up and ran outside calling for help, unsure of what was happening or what to do. Doctors ran in quickly and extubated. Max stood in the corner, watching as they spoke 'doctor language' a language he didn't understand at all.

He thanked them as they left and returned to his seat beside Zoe, moving his chair closer to her head and taking hold of her hand. "Hey sleepy.." Her fingers twitched in his hand, but nothing more. "It's okay, I'm here. Take your time." Max had never been more happy to see Zoe's eyes than he was right at that minute when they fluttered open and scanned the room. He smiled softly at her and squeezed her hand "it's alright..you're okay now."

Zoe knew she was safe, but she couldn't stop her eyes from watering as she remembered what had happened. She remembered being sat by the sea, relaxing as best she could, then the next thing she knew she was being dragged backwards. She didn't remember anything after that apart from pain and darkness, until her eyes stung from the light and she heard a familiar voice, smelt that familiar smell and felt that familiar tight, comforting embrace, Nick.

Zoe blinked several time and looked straight at Max, mouthing the words 'I love you' to him. Closing her eyes as he spoke the words back to her, she asked in almost a whisper what had happened.

"You had an operation. I don't know too much about it, someone will come and talk to you later." He nodded, "they had to remove the bullet. Oh Zoe, what happened?" Max rubbed her hand gently. "Sorry, you won't want to talk about it yet, will you. It's okay" he smiled reassuringly and kissed her forehead softly.

She shook her head, closing her eyes as pain took over her body. Groaning, she looked at him, "that girl...earlier."

He took a deep breath and looked at Zoe, holding her hand tight. "She's not really my daughter. Not biologically...me and her mum used to hang out, she just calls me daddy. I didn't tell you because I didn't think you'd ever need to know, or meet her. I'm sorry."

She nodded in response and looked over as the door flew open and Nick walked in. "She looks better, doesn't she. I told you she'd be alright." he walked over, kissing his friends cheek, "what you like, eh?" Nick rubbed her arm and smiled at her. "Is he looking after you?"

"I don't need...looking after Nick" she whispered, squeezing both of their hands tight. "I'm fine.."

**Hope you all like it...tried to keep medical jargon to a minimum as I'm not too sure about all that stuff :P P****lease R&amp;R loving the feedback :) xx**


	14. Chapter 14

In the few weeks Zoe had been out of hospital, Max had moved most of his things into her house. He knew she needed looking after and he wanted to be the one to be there for her. He wasn't risking Nick Jordan winning her back, he'd heard the stories..they always ended up back together, and he'd seen how he cared when she was in hospital, he wasn't willing to risk losing this woman to anyone, not even Nick Jordan.

* * *

They'd decided to go for a walk, a nice stroll around town. Walking, hand in hand, the walked for around two hours before Zoe started to get tired and Max decided to take her for something to eat, and said he'd call a taxi for them after. They walked into a cafe and sat in the back corner, and they both looked through the menu's.

"I'm not really that hungry, I'll just have a coffee" Zoe nodded.

At this, Max sighed "you need to eat..I'll get a sandwich, we can share it?"

She sighed quietly and nodded "fine."

While they waited for their sandwich to arrive, Max spoke, "I want to take you out, properly..when you're better, of course. Somewhere nice, the new restaurant in town?"

Zoe smiled and nodded "yeah...sure.."

"Shall we just go home?" he studied her face, looking for some sort of response.

She just shrugged "whatever, whatever you want."

They did go home...Zoe went to her house, and Max to his...he thought to get more things but she didn't really want him to come back. She didn't like feeling vulnerable, or people looking after her, never had, probably never will. She did like him being so caring and comforting, it just wasn't in her nature to be looked after, not properly.

**So sorry this is really short :( writer's block has set in :( kinda regretting my last two chapters, but they're up now and I can't change theml. I wanted to upload as I said I would this morning. Will hopefully get ideas soon. Send ideas by review or PM if you have any, all will be appreciated :) R&amp;R if poss. And thanks so much for sticking with this story x**


	15. Chapter 15

Finally he's gone, she thought to herself. Finally some time to herself. She'd loved having him around but everyone needs time on their own every once in a while.

Making sure he was gone and the taxi was out of sight, she locked the front door and headed upstairs, running herself a steaming hot bubble bath. Sinking into the bath, leaning back felt great. She closed her eyes taking in the fruity scent of the bubble bath and suddenly started sobbing, thinking of everything she'd been through the past few weeks. She hit her head back lightly on the way and brought her knees up to her chest.

Meanwhile, Max had gone home, got some more clothes and driven back to Zoe's house. He knocked on the door a few times, no answer. He bent down and reached under the 'welcome' doormat, knowing she kept a key there. Bingo! As he walked in, he looked around the living room and kitchen area. He made his way upstairs and into her bedroom quietly, presuming she was asleep, but then he heard her. Uncontrollably crying. He walked over to the bathroom door and knocked before walking in, "Zo..."

She looked up, screaming as she covered her body.

"Sorry" he said as he knelt down beside the bath, "didn't mean to startle you."

"G-get..out."

"Zoe, let me help..." Max sighed standing up. "I'll be downstairs."

* * *

Two hours later and Zoe was finally out of the bath and on her way downstairs. Hearing the TV in the background gave her some comfort, not much, but some. As she sat down at the opposite end of the sofa, she looked at Max and mumbled an apology.

He looked at her and picked the remote up to turn off the TV but Zoe's hand shot out and stopped him, "leave it..."

Nodding, he looked at her again, "you alright?" he spoke softly, noticing the tears threatening to fall down her cheeks. "Talk to me...don't bottle everything up, it's no good for you."

That was it, she burst into tears and threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around him and hiding her face in his neck. They sat in this tight embrace for what felt like forever until Max finally spoke, in barely a whisper "talk to me."

"I can't" she said, barely audible before standing up and making her way to the kitchen. She picked up a bottle of wine, took the lid off and gulped some down before walking back into the living room. She sat down "I feel sick constantly."

"Well all that won't help," Max gestured to the bottle in her hand.

She sighed taking another large gulp. "It helps. It helps me forget...what happened" she took another swig along with a deep breath. "I don't want to talk about it. I'm sure you wouldn't if you'd been..." Zoe walked away from him and stood, staring out the window.

"Zo, I'm-"

She cut him off "don't say it. There's nothing you can or could have done so just don't, okay?!" She stared at him for a while, not really knowing what to say or do. Eventually she flopped onto the sofa and sat back messing with the bottle in her hand, "I thought that was it..the end." she stopped, again lost for words, hoping Max would speak this time. He didn't, she sighed, picking at the label on the wine. "I just...I.."

Not saying anything, Max walked over, took the bottle from her and stood it on the coffee table. He sat beside her and pulled her close to him, kissing her head as he did so. "I want to take you on holiday...a little break, if you'll let me that is." She simply nodded, feeling safe in his arms.

**Sorry I haven't uploaded in a while :L just couldn't get any ideas. Thanks to CasualtyFan for the idea of Zoe opening up to Max...sorry I haven't done it very well, I just wanted to wrap up all the negativity as I'm regretting the last couple of chapters. This is the last chapter of this story as I have absolutely no ideas. May come back to this story at some point, or maybe do a sequel. Anyway, thanks for sticking with it and please leave your thoughts :) Love you all xx**


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